if I knew then what I know now…

I heard this phrase the other day

and it actually inspired me to finally sit down

and write.

Yes I know,

long time coming

so hopefully it’s worth the read.

The first thought that came to my mind

was looking back to my younger days.

Being aware of the people

who played such important roles in my life,

I can’t help but realize

that I truly did not have to impress anyone.

There honestly wasn’t a need to fall into any sort of “peer” pressure

and I really didn’t have to try as hard as I did

just to fit in

as I look back on it now.

The connections I made with my friends through the years

were deep-rooted and real from the very beginning.

If I knew then

what I know now

I would have been much more relaxed being me

because those same people

who to this day still have such an impact on my life,

accepted me just they way I was all along

and lo and behold

still do because they continue to make the choice

to stay involved in my life

to this very day.

(even if the jokes I tell are still super corny

and they sometimes wonder if I will ever grow up)

I really never had to improve my appearance

or look a certain way

now that I am completely aware of that,

however I honestly thought I had to

in order to feel accepted.

Case in point:

I actually allowed them to sit me down

and apply make up

which to me was basically the equivalent

to Chinese torture.

(those who know me well are nodding right about now)

I never had to try to be someone I wasn’t

and thank goodness my choice to be simple

funny and ordinary

was just fine by them.

My family saw the potential in me

even if I did make mistakes

and if I would have known then

what I know now,

it would have dawned on me very early on

that no matter what,

I would still be the same wonderful person

with a good heart

and I would never have worried near as much

that I needed approval

to be exactly who God intended me to be.

Life’s journey has us all taking roads

we sometimes aren’t ready for

especially in our younger years

and as we look back to the decisions we made along the way

one thing becomes very clear

that no matter what it was,

or how hard it may have been to get through

we always scrutinize our choices or decisions

good or bad

because of how it may have looked to others.

The way I see it,

nothing is worth regret.

Nothing is worth how others perceive it

or judge it.

Now that I am finally at an age to be considered

“experienced” or “qualified”

or at least

“old enough to know better”

your path,

your life,

your worth,

and most of all your being

is of great importance to you and only you

when the time comes to meet your maker.

I suppose if I got the chance to tell young people

what I have learned

knowing what I know now,

it would be

trust in who you are.

Look at the people around you

that love you unconditionally,

that need you in their life

as much as you need them.

If you feel the need to fit in

or think being important or successful

 to certain people

who don’t genuinely support you

or get you

is all that will ever matter,

you will lose yourself somewhere along the way

trying to be someone you are not

and that creepy word

“regret”

will haunt you one day.

Keep it simple really.

There is only one YOU

and if you pay very close attention to the people

who have liked the “real” you unconditionally from the start,

I can promise they will be loving you

every step of the way.

Life is hard enough as it is,

and what better way to be

going through it

than by being yourself!

I really could go on and on

but I figure I’ll just put this out there

and let you think through it.

So one more time…

If you knew then,

what you know now

where would your mind take you?

Make it a great day everybody

and may God bless!

because sometimes you aren’t your brothers keeper…

We have all encountered this type of person

at some point of our daily lives.

I suppose if this describes you,

you will just grunt and move on

however you might learn something

so stick around!

Before I get into this

I will admit I am not immune to such grumpiness.

I too have had my moments

but my thing has always been

to never impose my ugliness

on anyone.

Guess that’s why I am talking about it.

I have met some interesting people,

some of whom

seem to feel it necessary

to ruin a happy person’s day.

Taking pleasure in being a stir stick

or creating misery

seems to be a mission of sorts

for many of these lost souls.

That fascinates me somewhat

and I have always wondered

where this would possibly come from

and even more so,

why?

The interesting part I have found

is being pleasant and nice in return

in most cases

almost seems to encourage

even more creases onto their foreheads

and God forbid you say something

that addresses their unhappiness.

This one is a favorite of mine.

Now I totally get

stress and tension

or drama and circumstance

but it still doesn’t give anyone permission

for cruelty or aggression

(in my book anyway)

I always believed

that if you feel the need

to be angry inside,

don’t take it outside.

(unless you’re heading to your therapist of course)

I suppose it’s a hard thing to comprehend

when you seem to be content

within the boundaries of your own life.

I realize the world we live in

sure doesn’t make things easy,

and the struggles of some people

are more than most of us can even imagine,

so is there any solution?

Is it at all possible

to make unhappy people

happy?

From my own experience,

seeing that kind of transformation in some people

never comes to light.

They need to be where they are

for whatever reasons

and any or all attempts to be a hero

and change their behaviour

never really works anyway.

I guess it comes down to acceptance.

You either fall into the category or you don’t.

All I know is I always try

to change that in the people I meet

but I don’t take anything personal

or allow myself to think

that’s its my job to reform

or perform any miracles

when it looks like I can’t get through to them.

After all

things don’t change

unless they want them to change.

So in closing,

you will encounter grumpy

or miserable people.

They do exist and some are hell-bent and determined

to crush the energy around you

or pull you into their own

tunnel of darkness.

Personally,

tunnels make me claustrophobic

and more important of all…

I HATE THE DARK!

Make it a great day everybody

and yes even you grumpy ones 🙂

mirror, mirror on the wall, What the hell happened?

This being my 100th published blog,

I was thinking I would talk about something

that women as a whole think about every day

but don’t like to admit or even acknowledge.

Men are not excluded

but I can only talk about what I know.

Sorry guys.

Who is that person in the mirror

and when did I let this happen?

Whether you have been blessed with good genes or not,

we as women feel the need to find fault in what we see.

Here’s why I am going there.

I can’t think of one single morning

since I was a teenager,

that I haven’t woken up

rolled myself out of bed

(and now being 50, it actually is called rolling)

and not been aware of

 that “wave” motion my mid section

loves to remind me of day in and day out.

Oh sure,

thoughts naturally go to getting my morning coffee

into my system

and what my day will entail,

but hiding in the shadows

in that dark corner of my brain,

a little voice speaks to me

“Kimmie smarten up, you really should lose some weight”

and it’s such a creepy sounding voice.

Now that I have entered the “50” club

some parts of my body that once held their own

seem to mirror a retired person.

 Wanting nothing more than packing things up

and heading further south.

(apparently not just for the winter either)

Youth never permitted us

to think that gravity would be so harsh

or have us change our bra sizes

from a 34 or 36 firm

to a 38 or 40 long!

Self image

even to those who have been blessed

with fast metabolisms and small bones

can still terrorize the fittest of women.

They too can cut themselves up

by what they see in that

God awful mirror.

What I think is the most hurtful part

is how heavy it weighs on us.

How it may not seem to be bothering us

yet as soon as we put on a piece of clothing,

that is a little to snug all of a sudden,

or in complete horror,

we discover we have gone up a pant size or two,

our minds will start doing that

“oh my God I feel horrible, what the hell happened to me?”

So what do we do?

We immediately shame ourselves.

Some of us hide under larger clothing,

others just simply hide away.

We focus on how disgusted we are for letting things go.

Punish what little part of us that feels good

for being weak and lazy.

Now some incredible women have conquered this

and hats off to them

but sadly that is a small number

otherwise most of you reading this,

wouldn’t still be reading,

would you?

Oh sure,

most of us don’t just throw in the towel.

We actually get past the self hating

and make attempts to revive our spirit

and search for any means

to push us directly into that battle zone.

I know…

That one scares the b’Jesus out me too

(especially the way I eat spaghetti)

I really wish I had some solution.

Some wise and profound words of comfort

or an immediate remedy

but we all know if that was the case,

any or all fitness companies

would be out of business if we didn’t let it get to us

in one form or another.

In my feeble attempt to hopefully

make light of this one,

it is a serious and life changing problem

for a ton of women out there.

I suppose the best I can do

is allow any of you who struggle with this

to know that I am fighting the same battle you are.

If you nodded or agreed to any portion of this,

just keep in mind

that there were others

nodding and agreeing along with you.

I thought of ending this with some form of inspiration,

but humour has always been the remedy that pulls me through

my darkest moments.

Of course,

this could explain where all my troubles started!

If all else failed,

I sure hope this one at least brightened your day anyway 🙂

Make it a good one!

God Bless~