I wore my hockey helmet for this!!

After yesterday’s big “tornado warning”

I definitely have a couple of things to talk about.

So as Canadian’s we just aren’t summer storm savvy

if there is such a thing.

The weather network issues the warning

and in a matter of minutes

we aren’t making plans to take cover,

gathering supplies for the worst possible thing to happen,

getting our kids settled and ready to find shelter,

unplugging anything electrical in case of a lightning strike.

Nope…

most of us are grabbing our camera’s

standing in our driveways

snapping shots of the dark clouds

making their move across the dull and eerie sky

and quickly posting on social networks that

“THE TORNADO IS COMING!!!”

Not to make light of what damage Mother Nature is known to do,

or those we have heard that are suffering from her wrath,

but like I said,

we are Canadians

and to be perfectly honest,

that sort of thing which only happens

once in a blue moon

(which I don’t think any of us thought to check was happening last night)

is something that actually entertains us.

I have a really good friend whose father,

 on a regular stormy night,

would wake her and her brother up

from a dead sleep,

make some popcorn and tell them,

“this is better than watching a movie!”

as they sat on the couch looking out their picture window.

(Patti, that one is for you!)

All I know is the anticipation of the

“monster storm”

had us all on edge but at the same time,

kind of excited

(which makes us look a bit warped now that I see what I just typed)

The good news is

 a very cool storm

is really all it turned out to be.

No flying cars,

No uprooted trees,

no one’s trailer landed in the front yard.

Pretty standard actually,

however there were a few pretty hair-raising cracks of thunder

which I will admit made my hockey helmet fly off my head

and spill my damn drink.

(I did mention I am Canadian…right?)

Anyway, no worse for wear as they say.

We survived “the big one”

and the talk today will definitely be

about all the excitement,

the drama,

the really cool pictures everybody took or saw.

I guess what makes this a hot topic here in our neck of the woods,

is when the term “storm” is used,

we think snow shovels and digging our cars out,

so technically what can a few black clouds,

piercing  claps of thunder

and  rain drops really do to us Canadians?

Can’t really speak for the rest

but

you can bet your ass

the next big storm,

I am so taping my helmet to my head

and putting my drink in a cup with a lid!

😉

Hope you enjoyed this one…

Make it a great day everybody!!

to bee, or not to bee…

Finally!

Summer has graced us with its precious smile.

The sun, the flowers and warm breezes.

However once that beautiful image passes

the next thought becomes my preparation to dance with the bee’s

while trying to look cool mowing the grass.

This year I think I have this under control.

Think I’ll try to blend in.

Exhibit A:

Of course this may be a little warm to work in

but I’m just trying to figure out if they have this in adult sizes.

(and trust me, if I knew this would work, I would have a closet full)

So now to my next plan of attack

which is defending myself to those little bee-stards who

are not convinced that I belong

and really scare the b-Jesus out of me.

Year to year I mentally run my ninja and karate moves in my mind,

ready for battle and to show those yellow jackets

I am the warrior!

Exhibit B:

(hey it’s my story and if I’m gonna dream I may as well be tall, smokin’ hot and able to kick anyone’s ass)

The only drawback to all of this

is as much I think in my mind

that this year I may finally have this under control,

there is this little, itty, bitty part that tells me that

Exhibit C

is more of a reflection of what I really look like.

(the laughing and finger-pointing from my neighbours deck  every year seems to confirm this I believe)

Okay so I am facing a big challenge  once again,

and although I honestly believe

that this year I can make it different,

the fact does remain

that no matter who wins that battle of the blades

get it?

grass….blades!

The end result always ends with a nap in a hammock

(naturally plotting a battle with the Mighty mosquito of course!)

So if you will excuse me,

it’s been a long winter

and if I am going to prepare for battle,

I really think I should stretch first!

(oh great, the neighbours are on the deck waiting)

Here we go again 😉

Make it a great day everybody!

seemed like a good idea…

 

Thinking I may strike a chord with this one.

For a lot of us,

this is who we are before that crazy notion to become an active member of the fitness community.

We are completely aware that we should get out of our recliners and make something happen.

Good intentions is what we call it.

So how about we take a little stroll,

and let the flashback’s fly!

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

For a certain generation,

who remembers giving this a whirl?

I know for three specific ladies

(I won’t give names but 2 live in Rhode Island and one changed my diapers)

that right now you are all  getting a kick out remembering this one.

The great news however is you can bet you were not alone.

I am thinking there is quite a few more with the same words echoing in their minds.

“what the hell were we thinking!”

That crazy idea seemed simple enough especially if you loved

golden oldie’s music and dancing.

How hard could that be…right?

Let’s not fail to mention that instead of just buying the one video

(shows your age if you remember those bad ass VHS tapes)

We seemed over confident that the whole series is what we had to have

and naturally convinced that this would change our world.

This would make us fitness guru’s and nothing could stop us now!

(if you are smiling right now, you are trying to remember where the hell those tapes have disappeared to …am I right?)

Okay, so within a week or so

that crazy intention was killed.

Moving on…

For me, every once in a blue moon I get delusional and overly enthusiastic that I can be a runner.

I see people on the streets looking so athletic and committed

and my warped sense of reality has me believing

I can do that!

New sneakers, a very cool head band, a matching hoodie and shorts should be the trick to show off my athletic jogging ability.

(the mind is a tricky little S%#T sometimes)

On to the next ingenious idea.

The infamous treadmill!

That should be my salvation and in the beginning is the perfect motivator because first off,

I don’t even have to leave the house when that dreaded winter comes a knocking,

I won’t need any color coordinated attire because no one has to even look at me,

and that mechanical masterpiece is always a constant reminder to get my ass off the damn couch.

Let’s fast forward a little shall we…

Oh come on,

I can’t be the only one who paid a lot of money only to discover,

what a fantastic place to hang  my clothes at the end of the day.

and moving on…

So now we are in the Zumba craze.

Again the music and dancing

and up until now,

we all forgot about the attempted  Sweatin’ to the oldies ordeal,

but once again we tell ourselves,

this should be it!

So back to the store for new sneakers, and a matching fitness outfit

(hey, if you can’t play the part, all girls know you have to at least look the part…am I right?)

So off to the first class with an energized outlook,

ready to shake it like you stole it,

and like lightning with one quick glance to a mirror on the far wall,

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

I am Molly Shannon’s twin sister on Saturday night Live!

So where to now?

I think the fascinating thing is even through every attempt,

we just don’t give up searching for the next best thing.

So if you find yourself venturing into yet another unknown fitness phase

with a bit of apprehension that you may not be successful.

My advice is simple…

Grab the Visa!

Mama needs a new pair of sneakers!

 and a track suit,

and a headband,

and a water bottle…

See you at the mall 😉

Make it a great day everybody!

back in the day…Did I really just say that?

Those grimace’s on your faces are showing your age my friends!

Ahhh the good old days when our version of  iTunes was actually standing in the local record store and

sifting through rows upon rows of albums in search of that one favorite song.

(thinking if kids today heard about this, they would be in complete horror that we actually had to physically leave the house and stand for hours with our fingers crossed that we found what we were looking for.)

The great thing however, is we did evolve.

Someone turned us into a techno age with the invention of cassettes and tape recorders which had us all thinking that life as we knew it would now become a Star Wars or Star Trek adventure into the future.

Now we could record the actual songs we wanted from the radio and save time and money in the process.

(laughing out loud at this point confirms your involvement with that theory…doesn’t it?)

Of course as advanced as we thought this was

it presented it’s own set of problems.

Walk with me through this one.

Not sure of any of you but I still remember sitting on pins and needles trying to hit the stop button at  the exact second I thought I could beat out the radio announcer and whatever commercial he was about to endorse.

(isn’t it funny how we never caught on to that and still we never gave up)

One more little tidbit to add.

Dubbing song to song.

Now that was a challenge all on it’s own.

Trying to time every recording smoothly into the next without hearing that “click” or “static.”

(after so many failed attempts I realized early on that being a DJ of any kind would never be a career choice of mine)

However I did succeed with a few good ones and couldn’t wait to play them in my new recorder or car stereo.

Of course overcoming one challenge made for yet another one.

Does this remind you of anything?

Show of hands here…

How many of you sat on the floor with that pencil, patience and precision and tried to unravel and meticulously unwind and unhook  miles and miles of tape like a surgeon performing bowel surgery?

I know…

not a pretty comparison but you get my drift.

Let’s not forget the car stereo and it’s eating habits either.

(I did my best surgeries in the car…trust me!)

If I mention 8 tracks, how many of you are going to think “Holy Crap I am that old?

Well folks…

Old is what we may think we are, but those were some fun times.

It was the beginning of a new age and although it may seem so out dated and old fashioned,

I for one am so very glad I was apart of it.

Some of my fondest memories were the songs I waited all day to record and you can bet I ended up performing surgery again and again.

(can you say “sucker for punishment”)

 I sure hope this one brought back some good memories and reminded you that life back than may not have  been very “cool”  in the eyes of our children today,

but they will never know that feeling and I wouldn’t trade all the IPod’s or MP3’s in the world for any of it!

Make it a great day everybody! 😉

there is magic everywhere…you just have to look!

When I first read this one, I couldn’t help but do that,

“awwwwwww, now how sweet is this?”

Nothing says adorable than the innocence and wonder of a child.

So why do we limit it’s meaning to just that?

Oh sure, we are adults and life and all it’s wonder is a million times more challenging and hectic.

We certainly have those “little moments” in our everyday but who has time for all that?

So how about I give you some things that are possibly some magic moments we seem to pay no attention to or have forgotten over the years?

Here goes…

1-Sticking your face deep into your pillowcase after being on the clothesline all day.

(which I am pretty sure there are a few of you who can relate and personally, this isn’t even an option for myself…It’s my ritual!)

2-Pulling an old coat out and finding money in the pocket.

(okay so it  isn’t a magical moment, but it sure makes you feel like you hit the jackpot or something)

3-The smell of a baby especially after bath time and baby powder.

Yes I know, baby powder isn’t recommended because of it’s health risks but just to be clear.

(we were slathered in the stuff like Pigpen and that cloud that surrounded him and you know what?)

WE DID SURVIVE!

4-This is for the girls, because let’s face it ladies…Nothing is more magical than having a really good hair day!

(this is quite possibly the highlight of EVERY woman’s day)

5-A call or a text out of the blue that simply says, “thinking about you”

6-Finding out that a car repair that you anticipated would cost an arm and a leg isn’t even close.

(I have no problem admitting that I have hugged my mechanic for this one)

7-Waking up exhausted, looking at the time in complete panic because you’re thinking you are late and BAM!

It hits you and you realize it’s Sunday morning and you can coast in your pj’s all day if you want to.

(this one is an ultimate favorite of mine and always gets a fist pump and a “hell ya!”)

8-A rainy day at a cottage, as you lay under some warm and cozy blankets listening to the musical sound as it  hits the roof.

(you would stay there all day, but who can resist the aroma of a fresh pot of coffee at camp? Not me, that’s for sure!)

9-A hug or a cuddle from a child who just wants your arms around them so they know they are safe and loved.

(that my friends is complete magic!)

10-A smile from a stranger.

I chose this one to end my list for a reason.

There are a million more I can add but this is how I see it…

The first 9 are not everyday events but special in so many ways.

However the last one is the easiest form of magic to everyone.

It won’t cost you a penny.

It won’t make you sad.

It won’t work against you.

And best of all…

It won’t be forgotten!

I hope your day is filled with magic!!

Make it a great day everybody! 😉

winter…love it or leave it?

For any of you still loving the winter wonderland,

I suggest you STOP reading this right about now.

I feel a “rant” coming on, and you can bet it won’t be a pretty one.

Yes I know I have touched on this topic before but like I tell most people,

if something is bugging you, it’s never healthy to  hold things in.

So here I go…

I am a very proud Canadian and I should be more accepting about all of this,

but now that we are approaching the end of February,

I can honestly say…

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

Waking up to yet another morning  of snowfall.

Sure it’s only 2 to 5 cm’s,

a dusting as the weather people like to call it,

(which always amuses me because according to those numbers we can just run out and shovel in our slippers…no problemo!)

I am tired of the bulky winter jackets.

Those silly yoga poses just trying to get my boots on without taking a header into the front door.

I suppose I could wear my hockey helmet

(because we all know that every Canadian must own one)

 but I am pretty sure my moose hat won’t fit over it and you all know how obsessed I am about how I look in public.

(for those who know me..insert giggle here!)

Nothing says “YUK” like  sweaty hat head when I take my winter toque off after shovelling for the 3rd time in one day.

Of course there’s that dreaded

“snow dripping in your boot and making your sock all wet thing”

which is always a welcome treat only because you didn’t lace up properly.

(to which I blame the yoga move for and making me hurry with all the blood rushing to my head)

I can not leave out the unusual relationship with my shovel or the multitude of conversations with the snow plow guy either.

( so it’s more of a  sign language deal , but we always understand each other which is the main thing. )

Let’s not leave out  feeling so confined in my seat belt with a down filled jacket,

and knowing that the only range of movement I truly have once I am strapped in,

is the fact that only my eyeballs can shift from left to right like an owl.

What am I missing?

Oh yes!

Driving…

Having that jackass in his/her 4 wheel drive or pick up truck,

thinking that it is necessary to stay close enough behind you and shine headlights directly into your rear view mirror in blizzard conditions.

(Yup!! that should make all the cars crawling  in front of me in a storm drive faster)

Did I mention “jack ass?”

Okay, just making sure.

There is a ton more I can rant and rave about and I am sure that if you are as fed us as me,

you have a few more to add to the list.

 I believe I have said what I needed to say for today,

but I will leave you with this in hopes to make your day a little brighter.

Excluding the dope smoking, this pretty much covers it for me.

To those of you that feel the same way…

Hang in there my friends, we can make it!

For those of you who don’t agree and may feel a bit offended…

Go back to the first 2 sentences again.

You don’t follow directions well, do you?

All in fun my friends!! 😉

Make it a great day everybody!