Thinking I may strike a chord with this one.
For a lot of us,
this is who we are before that crazy notion to become an active member of the fitness community.
We are completely aware that we should get out of our recliners and make something happen.
Good intentions is what we call it.
So how about we take a little stroll,
and let the flashback’s fly!
For a certain generation,
who remembers giving this a whirl?
I know for three specific ladies
(I won’t give names but 2 live in Rhode Island and one changed my diapers)
that right now you are all getting a kick out remembering this one.
The great news however is you can bet you were not alone.
I am thinking there is quite a few more with the same words echoing in their minds.
“what the hell were we thinking!”
That crazy idea seemed simple enough especially if you loved
golden oldie’s music and dancing.
How hard could that be…right?
Let’s not fail to mention that instead of just buying the one video
(shows your age if you remember those bad ass VHS tapes)
We seemed over confident that the whole series is what we had to have
and naturally convinced that this would change our world.
This would make us fitness guru’s and nothing could stop us now!
(if you are smiling right now, you are trying to remember where the hell those tapes have disappeared to …am I right?)
Okay, so within a week or so
that crazy intention was killed.
For me, every once in a blue moon I get delusional and overly enthusiastic that I can be a runner.
I see people on the streets looking so athletic and committed
and my warped sense of reality has me believing
I can do that!
New sneakers, a very cool head band, a matching hoodie and shorts should be the trick to show off my athletic jogging ability.
(the mind is a tricky little S%#T sometimes)
On to the next ingenious idea.
The infamous treadmill!
That should be my salvation and in the beginning is the perfect motivator because first off,
I don’t even have to leave the house when that dreaded winter comes a knocking,
I won’t need any color coordinated attire because no one has to even look at me,
and that mechanical masterpiece is always a constant reminder to get my ass off the damn couch.
Let’s fast forward a little shall we…
Oh come on,
I can’t be the only one who paid a lot of money only to discover,
what a fantastic place to hang my clothes at the end of the day.
and moving on…
So now we are in the Zumba craze.
Again the music and dancing
and up until now,
we all forgot about the attempted Sweatin’ to the oldies ordeal,
but once again we tell ourselves,
this should be it!
So back to the store for new sneakers, and a matching fitness outfit
(hey, if you can’t play the part, all girls know you have to at least look the part…am I right?)
So off to the first class with an energized outlook,
ready to shake it like you stole it,
and like lightning with one quick glance to a mirror on the far wall,
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!
I am Molly Shannon’s twin sister on Saturday night Live!
So where to now?
something that goes on your wrist
like a watch,
counts your daily steps
so you can be satisfied at the end of the day
that you actually took 10,000 steps
and vibrates to let you know
how freaking awesome you should feel
even though some of us
stand in one spot in the kitchen marching like a soldier
to actually hit our goal number
or is that just me?
I think the fascinating thing
is even with every attempt
we just don’t give up searching for the next best idea.
So if you find yourself
venturing into yet another unknown fitness phase
with a bit of apprehension
that you may not be successful with,
Grab your credit card
Mama needs a new pair of sneakers!
…and a trendy new workout outfit
and a matching headband,
and a matching water bottle,
See you at the mall 😉
Make it a great day everybody!