seemed like a good idea…

housewife

 

Thinking I may strike a chord with this one.

For a lot of us,

this is who we are before that crazy notion to become an active member of the fitness community.

We are completely aware that we should get out of our recliners and make something happen.

Good intentions is what we call it.

So how about we take a little stroll,

and let the flashback’s fly!

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

For a certain generation,

who remembers giving this a whirl?

sweatin to the oldies

I know for three specific ladies

(I won’t give names but 2 live in Rhode Island and one changed my diapers)

that right now you are all  getting a kick out remembering this one.

The great news however is you can bet you were not alone.

I am thinking there is quite a few more with the same words echoing in their minds.

“what the hell were we thinking!”

That crazy idea seemed simple enough especially if you loved

golden oldie’s music and dancing.

How hard could that be…right?

Let’s not fail to mention that instead of just buying the one video

(shows your age if you remember those bad ass VHS tapes)

We seemed over confident that the whole series is what we had to have

and naturally convinced that this would change our world.

This would make us fitness guru’s and nothing could stop us now!

(if you are smiling right now, you are trying to remember where the hell those tapes have disappeared to …am I right?)

Okay, so within a week or so

that crazy intention was killed.

Moving on…

For me, every once in a blue moon I get delusional and overly enthusiastic that I can be a runner.

I see people on the streets looking so athletic and committed

and my warped sense of reality has me believing

I can do that!

New sneakers, a very cool head band, a matching hoodie and shorts should be the trick to show off my athletic jogging ability.

(the mind is a tricky little S%#T sometimes)

funny-running

On to the next ingenious idea.

The infamous treadmill!

That should be my salvation and in the beginning is the perfect motivator because first off,

I don’t even have to leave the house when that dreaded winter comes a knocking,

I won’t need any color coordinated attire because no one has to even look at me,

and that mechanical masterpiece is always a constant reminder to get my ass off the damn couch.

Let’s fast forward a little shall we…

treadmill cluttered

Oh come on,

I can’t be the only one who paid a lot of money only to discover,

what a fantastic place to hang  my clothes at the end of the day.

and moving on…

So now we are in the Zumba craze.

Again the music and dancing

and up until now,

we all forgot about the attempted  Sweatin’ to the oldies ordeal,

but once again we tell ourselves,

this should be it!

So back to the store for new sneakers, and a matching fitness outfit

(hey, if you can’t play the part, all girls know you have to at least look the part…am I right?)

So off to the first class with an energized outlook,

ready to shake it like you stole it,

and like lightning with one quick glance to a mirror on the far wall,

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

I am Molly Shannon’s twin sister on Saturday night Live!

zumba

So where to now?

I think the fascinating thing is even through every attempt,

we just don’t give up searching for the next best thing.

So if you find yourself venturing into yet another unknown fitness phase

with a bit of apprehension that you may not be successful.

My advice is simple…

Grab the Visa!

Mama needs a new pair of sneakers!

 and a track suit,

and a headband,

and a water bottle…

See you at the mall 😉

Make it a great day everybody!

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in the real world…what defines you?

funny 9

Before I even begin with this one,

I just want those of you reading this,

that are dedicated to staying fit,

and conscious of healthy eating habits,

to know how admired you are for the sacrifices you do make

and to understand how deeply respected you all are.

The sad reality is not everyone of us have that motivation or dedication and above all

uncomplicated life events between work, raising kids and that god awful thing we call “aging”.

Although it may seem simple enough to say, “just do it”  according to Nike,

the world isn’t perfect and life doesn’t make it easy.

(not an excuse, just an observation)

I think what sets us all apart is what our brains tell us day in and day out.

exercise 9

Some would view this as a genius idea and others would say

“are you friggin kidding me?”

Let’s be real for a second.

How many of you could even imagine what a size 2 is?

(excluding all the bored super-models reading this of course)

If life has finally taught me anything,

my body isn’t and has never been designed for that without looking like I have been diagnosed with some eating disorder.

The crazy part is,

there is actually a size zero and last I checked,

zero is defined as “nothing”

which tells us what exactly?

exercise 13

Speaking for those who actually love food but still try to maintain healthy standards,

we really do make efforts here and there to improve ourselves

but maybe not in a way of becoming extreme fitness and health fanatics.

However we do try in our own warped little ways.

I have always admired those who do Yoga and gave it a try once.

Turns out you really have to focus and be someone who doesn’t get distracted very easily.

Failed attempt # 1

exercise 12

But I still haven’t given up!

So now to the nutrition aspect.

I am completely aware of the health benefits but again,

when you love food,

this one is an extreme challenge.

Failed attempt # 2

exercise 14

I figure there are a few of you nodding in agreement.

(even the health conscious one’s would admit to this one)

Again, not to make excuses

because each and every one of us know damn well

what is best to maintain

a healthy lifestyle.

Some choose to, and some don’t.

Some try and succeed and some fail.

Some are devoted to it, and some aren’t.

Which leads me to this…

No one is perfect.

No one has the right to condemn another for their choices.

No one is any better than anyone else!

The only influence you should bank on at the end of every day is the person you look at in the mirror.

What you decide to give is what you should expect

and how you feel about yourself

is something no one else can feel for you.

After all,

that’s your face and body image  in that mirror,

Not theirs!

exercise 15

I honestly believe if we all spent less time seeking perfection

and more effort working on perception,

this world would be filled with affection!

Opinions are like assholes,

everybody has one.

This just happens to be mine!

So if you will excuse me,

I may give that Yoga thing another shot.

Thinking I’ll get a pedicure this time and hopefully clear up that ugly toe problem 😉

Make it a great day everybody!