We know…

To all those courageously, stubborn people

we love so very much,

who are going through some dark and trying moments

and more than likely too proud to ask for help

thinking it would be some sort of burden or bother.

Thinking also,

that it would be an admission of weakness or failure to reach out

and even worse,

fear of vulnerability or emotion.

So I got an idea

that maybe the best thing to do

is explain what the rest of us already know

and it won’t cost you one second of wondering

and hopefully fills your heart with some sort of comfort

at a moment you may just need it.

never alone

We know it has been hard.

We know you have meltdowns,

and we know you have cried alone.

We know you are fighting and continue to fight

every single day.

We know you won’t let some of us get close enough to assist you

yet we know you do need us discretely from time to time.

We know you wanted to give up more than a few times

but also we know you never will.

We know you keep most of us at arm’s length

so we don’t have to feel the hurt like you do.

We know you would be annoyed and maybe even angry

if you thought we pitied you.

We feel helpless

yet we sit patiently in the background

in the event that you do call on us.

We know you feel beaten down some days and hide it diligently,

as not to draw any undue attention to yourself.

We know you are stubborn in your convictions

but definitely more than capable

when it comes to your endurance and strength.

We know you are not weak or incapable

but we do know you are not super human either.

We know you are a warrior

and although not all warriors win their battles

they sure as hell never back down from a fight.

You see,

we do know more than you think

but we also know enough

to give you the respect and space

to do the things you need to do.

One more thing…

You know who you are!

Have a great day and may God Bless xo

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if I knew then what I know now…

I heard this phrase the other day

and it actually inspired me to finally sit down

and write.

If-I-knew-then3

Yes I know,

long time coming

so hopefully it’s worth the read.

The first thought that came to my mind

was looking back to my younger days.

Being aware of the people

who played such important roles in my life,

I can’t help but realize

that I truly did not have to impress anyone.

There honestly wasn’t a need to fall into any sort of “peer” pressure

and I really didn’t have to try as hard as I did

just to fit in

as I look back on it now.

The connections I made with my friends through the years

were deep-rooted and real from the very beginning.

If I knew then

what I know now

I would have been much more relaxed being me

because those same people

who to this day still have such an impact on my life,

accepted me just they way I was all along

and lo and behold

still do because they continue to make the choice

to stay involved in my life

to this very day.

(even if the jokes I tell are still super corny

and they sometimes wonder if I will ever grow up)

I really never had to improve my appearance

or look a certain way

now that I am completely aware of that,

however I honestly thought I had to

in order to feel accepted.

Case in point:

I actually allowed them to sit me down

and apply make up

which to me was basically the equivalent

to Chinese torture.

(those who know me well are nodding right about now)

I never had to try to be someone I wasn’t

and thank goodness my choice to be simple

funny and ordinary

was just fine by them.

My family saw the potential in me

even if I did make mistakes

and if I would have known then

what I know now,

it would have dawned on me very early on

that no matter what,

I would still be the same wonderful person

with a good heart

and I would never have worried near as much

that I needed approval

to be exactly who God intended me to be.

Life’s journey has us all taking roads

we sometimes aren’t ready for

especially in our younger years

and as we look back to the decisions we made along the way

one thing becomes very clear

that no matter what it was,

or how hard it may have been to get through

we always scrutinize our choices or decisions

good or bad

because of how it may have looked to others.

The way I see it,

nothing is worth regret.

Nothing is worth how others perceive it

or judge it.

Now that I am finally at an age to be considered

“experienced” or “qualified”

or at least

“old enough to know better”

your path,

your life,

your worth,

and most of all your being

is of great importance to you and only you

when the time comes to meet your maker.

I suppose if I got the chance to tell young people

what I have learned

knowing what I know now,

it would be

trust in who you are.

Look at the people around you

that love you unconditionally,

that need you in their life

as much as you need them.

If you feel the need to fit in

or think being important or successful

 to certain people

who don’t genuinely support you

or get you

is all that will ever matter,

you will lose yourself somewhere along the way

trying to be someone you are not

and that creepy word

“regret”

will haunt you one day.

Keep it simple really.

There is only one YOU

and if you pay very close attention to the people

who have liked the “real” you unconditionally from the start,

I can promise they will be loving you

every step of the way.

Life is hard enough as it is,

and what better way to be

going through it

than by being yourself!

inspiration quantity of life

I really could go on and on

but I figure I’ll just put this out there

and let you think through it.

So one more time…

If you knew then,

what you know now

where would your mind take you?

Make it a great day everybody

and may God bless!

who’s ready to chase some rainbows?

inspiration rainbows

I realize there are some

that will get this

and some that won’t

but if there’s anything I am hoping for

once you have read it,

is that you allow yourself

time to just sit and think about it.

We are not put on this earth to simply exist

or present ourselves as emotional warriors,

unscathed or unfeeling,

simply because we come across as upbeat

and seeming as if nothing

can phase us

especially when life

certainly has a way of reminding us

that it isn’t just sunshine or lollipops

or we are as invincible

as everyone might think we are.

Being an eternal optimist,

immunity to suffering is something

we go through like everyone else

but I truly believe that perspective

is the fine line between

winning or losing our battles.

If you cut us

we will bleed

but let me try to explain

as best as I can

why our healing times

might seem a little quicker.

With every success,

every failure or disappointment

in which the curve of life throws at us

we are meant to learn and grow

as individuals.

It is not only about

it just being easy

and without challenge

or being foolish enough to think

that any of us go through life without

our share of emotional scars or broken hearts.

Keeping ourselves trapped into a darkness

that can and will at most times

tear us apart

or to some extent

remove what faith

we may have once believed in so much

when we allow our minds to take us

and keep us there.

Adversity and acceptance

is our way of growing.

Not saying it’s easier

but for all us “rainbow chasers” out there

it’s our way of not only pulling ourselves through

the beautiful moments,

but to give us

on some level

strength to push through the hard ones

and trust me,

this year has been a tough one.

As we approach yet another New year,

we gear ourselves up

into thinking

that what we put our hopes and wishes into,

 should actually happen

and on some level of delusion

believe they will come true

simply because we asked for them

just like everybody else,

but if there is one thing that makes perfect sense to me now

as I sit and think about what I would want

for this New Year if asked,

there is absolutely no doubt

what my response would be.

new year 365 if lucky

That being said,

there is nothing wrong with making ourselves better

even in times of loss.

There is nothing wrong with wanting for others

the happiness and joy they deserve

even though we’ve been denied that feeling

in our own tragic moments.

There is nothing wrong with

accepting  failure or loss

just so long as we understand

it should never be what defines us.

The creation of man

happened for a reason

and I would hate to think

that the only question we ask ourselves

at the end of the day

when things don’t go as planned is

what are we here for

or why even bother?

Each of us were created to make a difference.

Some in big ways and some in little

but the concept really has no bearing

on what it is you do

when you navigate through this life

but rather how you learn

to do it the best way

that you know how

while you are still here.

So take a moment to really look at your life.

Good or bad,

happy or sad,

ask yourself one very important question

especially with who surrounds you this year.

Look at those who know your story

before you decide on what it is

you expect for this coming New Year.

Whether you are a “resolution” person or not,

we all have expectations to improve our lives.

By all means work on improving yourself.

Health and fitness,

success and finance’s

spiritual and emotional

however

they can all lose some appeal

if the people you love the most

aren’t there to cheer for you

or watch you succeed.

So now that I have your attention

decide on what truly matters

come the first new day of the year.

Remind yourself that although life isn’t perfect

or fair at times,

and during the “storms”

where you seem to feel the safest

hiding under a blanket

like some kind of cloaking device,

you really have to ask yourself,

“If I don’t take a peek,

could I be missing something incredible?”

You can remain negative and blind

wasting time under your dark clouds,

or you can change your focus,

accept and acknowledge

that it will be hard to do

and throw away the fear that is holding you back.

The choice is

and will always be

YOURS!

This picture is courtesy of my sister

who said Good morning to my Dad up in heaven

on her drive into town one day

and lo and behold this appeared

giving her enough time to pull over

and take this picture before it quickly disappeared.

From above,

his message was clear.

NEVER stop chasing rainbows!

debbies rainbow

Wishing you all

a year of endless possibilities,

the courage to face whatever may come

but above all 

an unexpected rainbow 

at the very moment you may need one!

From my family to yours,

Happy New Year and may God Bless xoxo

today’s a good day to start!

With the start of a new school year,

we are more than likely going to hear about more bullying

and although our big intention every year

is to raise even more awareness,

our approach just doesn’t seem to be hitting home.

We seem to think that it’s the kids we need to be reaching out to

and yet nothing shakes us more

than that one story of a young soul

taking their own life because it’s been too unbearable

at the hands of another youngster.

“Bullying is learned behaviour,

and anything learned, 

can be unlearned.” 

Dr. C. Sally Murphy

bullying

Why are we making it about the kids only?

After all,

don’t they get their impressions and ideas from us as adults

to begin with?

Think about it for a minute.

What we may judge out loud

becomes normal according to them

whether you are a parent or not.

That little comment about the overweight cashier

that seems a bit slow when you are in a hurry

may not seem all that important

but little Johnny or Susie

just heard it

and if Mom or Dad

or any over the hill adult

can do that,

than naturally it turns into the question,

why can’t I?

Our prejudices also come into play.

You have a problem with another race

or sexual preference

and while conversing with someone,

you let it be known what your opinion of them is,

because after all,

YOU are perfect

and they are not.

All you perfect people may as well stop reading at this point

and the rest of you can keep going if you like.

The question still remains.

raising-a-bully

Well guess what,

this is where it all starts

and every year we wonder why it’s happening,

or why it’s getting so out of control.

Our attack on this has been to teach our kids

it’s wrong

and they will very quickly listen

and magically it will stop.

Wake up people!

Clearly we need to make bigger changes

and if we are going to do this,

it has to start at the root.

For every remark you make towards another human being,

it becomes a catalyst to our children.

They mirror us,

they believe us

and most of all

they trust  us.

It basically comes down to the oldest saying we have ever been taught.

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!”

If you want your child to be aware of how wrong it is

to tear someone down

simply because they are different,

start correcting things at home.

Certainly there are those who just don’t get it

and sadly those are the ones who really should be reading this

but nothing can change if someone doesn’t start

talking about what is real

and not wait till the point

where that beautiful young girl

or freckle face boy

has their faces plastered on the news

or social media

with the sad report that follows

“We have lost another young one to suicide.”

Even worse

the heart wrenching interview

with the grieving and lost parents.

My heart hurts every single time I see that young face

on the news or on social media

who clearly suffered at the hands of others

and it isn’t until than

that we address it.

We waited far too long

to finally get pissed off.

If there is going to be finger pointing

let’s stop pussy footing around it

and hit it on the head

because if we don’t,

we will lose more

and honestly folks,

 ONE has been too many.

Our biggest obstacle is denial.

So many out there thinking

“my kid knows better than to do that”

You sure about that?

Keep in mind,

since the second they were born,

they have heard every word you have spoken

parent or no parent.

They have absorbed every opinion you have ever voiced

with regard to the rest of the human race.

Before school started for them,

you were one of their first teachers

and now that you have thought about this,

what did you really teach them?

So again, I ask you…

YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

In a perfect world,

we could address those grown-ups

who desperately need to make these changes

 that I am pleading for

and thinking if we ask them to do so

they would simply comply

and like a miracle,

all would be well in the world

however,

it is not a perfect world

and unfortunately

there are some complete idiots out there

who just don’t care

or think it’s not their problem to deal with.

So the idea is rather easy.

stand up against bullying

If you are as concerned about this as I am,

start watching your own behaviour

and let your kids know

it’s unacceptable at any age!

Let’s not wait for something to happen

to begin talking about it.

For the love of God,

keep the lines of communication open,

lead my example

and decide it’s time to make that change.

Wouldn’t today be a good day

to start?

i can do this

God bless everybody

especially our kids!

just another walk in the park…

Have you ever wondered sometimes

if the things you do

can actually make an impact in someone’s life?

Sit back and let me tell you my story

and if all goes well,

you will have a sense

that sometimes the things we do

can be worth the wait.

Every day I try to walk the boardwalk

near my home.

ramsey lake 2013

Without fail,

I have passed the same woman

over the course of the last few months

and who I like to call crabby Abby

(only because of the grumpy looking scowl on her face)

and who seems completely lost in her thoughts

with her eyes looking no further

than the path directly in front of her feet.

Anyone who knows me

is well aware that I rarely ever pass someone

without at least a smile or a nod

and almost every time

saying “good morning”

(even with my mp3 blaring in my ears)

There aren’t many who just pass by

 without somewhat of a response,

however this particular woman

never even gives me a glance or a reaction.

I can’t say that it doesn’t bother me,

and I’d be lying if sometimes I’d love

to jump directly in front of her

and make her at least look me in the eye

(which would more than likely just get me arrested)

but if there is anything I have learned

is that everyone has their own battles they are dealing with,

or life events that have them completely detached from the rest of the world.

If that isn’t the case,

another important thing is some people

just like to be left alone.

I get that.

The crazy part is that even though I know

it’s the exact same outcome

day in and day out,

and my attempts to shine light is probably for nothing,

I still make the effort.

Well folks,

today my perseverance paid off!

As we approached each other,

I did my thing and as I looked her way,

she raised her head,

made a very small attempt at lifting the corners of her mouth upward

(which I think was a smile)

and in a soft and shaky voice said,

“Morning” and carried on without skipping a beat.

I will admit that my first reaction

was to stop dead in my tracks

and say,

“It’s about friggin time lady!”

but I realized that this was something

completely out of her comfort zone

and if she was someone who was just very shy,

how courageous it was for her

to even make that little attempt.

 For whatever reasons,

I gained her trust in some little way

and managed to get to her

even if she never intended it to be.

So I just kept my pace,

and in no way making a big deal of it

continued past her like it was business as usual.

(of course  my inner voice was screaming “YES” with a fist pump attached)

fist pump

With a smile on my face,

I couldn’t help  thinking,

“that was just too freaking cool!”

Before I knew it,

our morning encounter was here and gone.

Now I can’t say that tomorrow

or the days to come will even compare

to what happened today.

 There is a very good chance that

we may go back to our same little routine,

but I’ll tell you this.

I know in my heart

that every time she passes me from here on in,

whether she responds or not,

justifies every single good morning

I have ever said

and reminds me that nothing I do

is ever a waste of my time.

So if you find yourself wondering about the things you do,

that may look impossible or seem so out of reach,

or just the fact that it isn’t even worth the time or effort,

keep this one locked in the back or your mind.

If you play your cards right,

that day will come.

Until than…

 be good

Make it a great day everybody!

~God Bless~

running scared…

helpers of the world

Unlike most of the things being written about

the event in Boston,

I thought I would take another approach.

Sure we are mad as hell and so tired of watching the lives of

innocent people taken away from us.

We are all glued to the repeated news reports and bombarded with the

replays of such an unthinkable act.

(911 comes creeping back to haunt us all over again)

Our hearts are hurting with an image of horror

and I completely understand that the story needs to be told.

Wait!

It isn’t a story,

it’s the world we live in.

Slowly we are standing by watching

as it all crumbles at our feet.

For so many of us,

we try to justify it’s meaning or come up with

how any good can come out of it.

For others,

it’s all about what the governments are doing wrong,

and how these people have the exact solutions to make things right in the world.

(come election time, I sure didn’t hear about any of them on the ballot list , did you?)

For the majority however,

it’s about finding those responsible

and stringing them up by their balls

and watching them suffer.

(Sorry for that term but I had to make my point)

The worst part is that right now

the media will continuously replay

the horrid details,

and find new angles to get us to follow it.

(which really means, don’t change the channel because our report is better than the other guy)

I completely understand that we need to be informed,

but is it absolutely necessary to see a reporter ask a man

to describe watching someone get their legs blown completely off.

(by the way, in one hour I watched this 3 times)

But here’s the thing…

Now that it’s over,

 we will be subjected to the victims and their suffering.

How the road ahead will be painful and for most

unbearable with the loss of loved ones.

(again, don’t change the channel folks!)

So what do we do?

Hate to say it,

but we move on with our lives.

In time we may not forget but we will slowly

put it behind us

until the next one.

And yes, there will be a next one.

Sad reality but this world has been shaped with

so many variations of religious belief’s,

backgrounds and worst of all

the need to be the bully on the block holding the big stick.

walking tall

Don’t get me wrong,

I am mad as hell too!

However, like the rest of you,

I will carry on with my day,

express my sadness and anger with those feeling the same,

and walk with a heavy heart till the story-line fades away.

Our only hope is the message Mr Rogers is passing on.

Now that the race is over,

and once the dust has finally settled

the helpers will appear.

This is the one thing we CAN count on!

God,

if you are listening,

place your arms around those victims and families

affected directly because of this,

and please remind the rest of us

to find strength in the heroes

who keep us believing

that good people

really do exist!

boston

God bless everybody!