it happened one night…

Anyone reading this one

should understand a sleepless night.

sheep sleep

As it stands,

last night was mine.

As I laid in bed,

and doing everything from counting sheep

to reciting 99 bottles of beer on the wall

(which by the way I got down to 1 bottle)

I realized how insane it was

that I couldn’t just shut my brain off

and slowly drift into a quiet and peaceful slumber.

 What came to mind

in the midst of all that sheep and beer counting

was how some friends I know

strongly and successfully

have mastered meditation.

Being able to manipulate

both the body and mind

into a serene and still state.

meditation pose

Now I knew better than to actually

follow proper procedure by

sitting and crossing my legs

remembering the last time I tried that

and with both legs locked into submission,

losing complete balance

landing on my back

 only to end up staring at the ceiling

with absolutely no feeling

in my lower extremities

thinking how on earth

would I explain this

to a 911 operator.

So my brilliant self

figured it would be a lot safer

if I just laid flat on my back

in my comfortable bed

and try that

“calming the mind”

thing.

So as I closed my eyes,

I began what I thought

would be the answer to my prayers

and I would tune out the world

 to allow my mind to quiet itself down.

Now the tricky part to this

as I quickly found out,

was it’s a very tough thing to do

when you are someone easily distracted

with any outside interference,

so to combat any noise

the plan was simple.

With my fingers in my ears

I was ready to still my mind.

fingers.in_.ears_

 So here’s what I discovered

during this little process.

Naturally I had no other distractions

but the second my ears were plugged up

and instantaneously,

the inside of my head could hear

what sounded like a distant

thunder-storm rolling inland.

(there’s a pretty good chance some of you have your fingers in your ears to test this theory)

Go ahead…

I’ll wait!

Now some of you may think

this can be a relaxing sound

when you are trying to quiet your overactive mind,

and it did for a second or two

but here is where things got a little dicey.

Once I allowed the sound of the storm

to kind of relax me

I figured taking a few deep breaths

in and out through my nose

would be the next logical step.

Wrong!

As I have stipulated,

an over active mind

can go absolutely anywhere

so after a few of these deep and long breaths

through my nasal passage

not only was there the sound

of a distant storm in the background

echoing inside my head

but now I sounded like Jason

from Friday the 13th

breathing behind that God awful mask.

friday 13 Jason

Like an idiot,

there I was laying down

with my eyes closed

in complete darkness

thinking about a psychotic killer

and his breathing habits

with my damn fingers stuck in my ears.

Would it surprise any of you

that at this point

I aborted the mission?

Needless to say,

not only did I fail at my attempt to meditate

or reduce some of the anxiety

going on inside my mind,

there was a very good chance

after this little episode

that I may never sleep again.

Just to make things worse,

I realized as I pulled my fingers

out of my ears,

there was this matter

of a wax build up

I seriously needed to give some attention to

come the morning.

You’ll be happy to know

that once I returned from the bathroom

(and yes I scrubbed my fingers)

I finally did fall asleep.

It’s funny how once the storm passed

and sounds of a serial killer

left the cavity of my skull

how quiet it finally got

for me to actually fade away

into La La land.

It’s crazy how these nights

can stir you up

and how your thoughts

can create such grand illusions

but if there is any advice I have to give

it would be something very simple.

If you find yourself

struggling to nod off,

and the tossing and turning

starts happening,

take a quick trip to the washroom

and check the wax build-up

situation immediately.

Not promising this will even work,

but at the very least

you now have

one less thing

to think about

in the wee hours of the night!

You’re welcome 🙂

Make it a great day everybody!

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at a snail’s pace…but we’re getting there!

Brainfart

Sorry folks.

Seems like forever since I sat down to write.

I have actually tried more than a few times

but as the illustration clearly shows

I just haven’t been able to get the creative juices flowing.

It’s been one hell of a long winter,

and I’m not sure if my brain decided to freeze up as well.

I did think about another

“I hate this winter shit!”

kind of story line

but I am even tired of complaining

about how long this winter has been

and pretty fed up with wishing harm on Mother Nature

because honestly I think she’s just sitting there

laughing her fool ass off at me anyway.

(care to bet she sounds like the Wicked Witch of the West)

witch of the west

I know I am not the only one

feeling shack wacky

and needing some much needed summer air.

How can we not pitch a fit

when our first snow fall was November 9th

FYI:

Taking a clear and still picture

while your jaw

is spewing four letter words

is much harder than it seems.

1st snow Nov 9-13

So now here lies April

with snow banks that may not thaw until June.

Being Canadian,

you would think I’d be use to this crap

but when my golf season is interfered with

I get a little loopy.

So much that I have actually thought about

buying myself a blow torch.

And yes,

a really cool heat resistant suit as well.

blow torch

Wait a second…

I had this exact thought last year too!

Told you I was getting loopy.

The good news however,

 spring is trying to show it’s face.

The thaw is happening

(at a snail’s pace of course)

but it is.

The potholes that were once snow filled,

now are strategically placed

to hone our Nascar driving skills

or Not!

pot hole

Regardless of it all,

the sun has started to shine brighter.

The air is getting warmer

(no pun intended)

but to a degree.

The days are longer

with more hope that we are almost there.

The trees will soon bud

and if they are as fed up as I have been,

pretty sure this would be their first conversation.

birch please

 Guess we just have to hang in there.

After all,

we go through this every year

so I’m not sure why I even bothered

to write about this again.

All I know

is if next year shows any signs of being long,

you will all know where to find me!

golf winter green

We’re almost there 🙂

Make it a great day everybody!

anyone up for pillow talk?

Pillow talk got your attention, didn’t it?

Works every time 😀

So now that I have you here,

how many of you have this kind of display on your beds?

pillows

There is just something about making it a ritual every morning,

 placing strategically

every pillow into its designated spot

or tossing and throwing

(not so strategically)

as you hurry to finally get your tired bones into bed.

(which I’m thinking Martha Stewart would be so proud with all that pillow arranging)

The only reason I decided to write about this

was the fact that as I was heading to bed the other night,

I realized I removed seven pillows

that I don’t even use.

(which I now believe has become my morning and night-time stretching routine)

and it’s only me and my king size bed.

How ridiculous of an idea that we will take that kind of time

before we can actually rest our heads on our pillows,

 especially after an exhausting day,

or try to get a head start

only to add pillow stacking to the mix

before we even leave the house.

I know!

It’s crazy isn’t it?

Considering that I really only sleep with 2 of my favorite pillows anyway.

(which miraculously turns into one by the morning)

pillow 1

Again this is not me but to tell the truth

my bed head isn’t really something you all need to witness.

Trust me!

What is it about making our comfort zone

into a show room

when technically no one will even see it

(unless you have visitors of course)

You are thinking about your extra bedroom with the pillows your guests get to exercise with?

Am I right?

The funny part is what the bed actually gets turned into.

Over the course of the night

all that is used are those two lonely but favorite pillows.

( of course for the couples out there)

3 or 4 is the magic number.

pillow 2

Once again, this in not my bed.

(I somehow manage to do way more damage than that by the morning)

I know some of you are saying,

“I really don’t see what the big deal is”

and for the most part you are absolutely right.

My big dilemma is

“what the hell am I thinking?”

when I see that sale on pillows

and actually consider the notion that I need just one more?

(anyone else thinking a pillow intervention is seriously needed here)

Woman trying to sleep

For some this may not even be something to relate with,

or concern themselves over,

however I am sure there are those who can.

As much of a pain in the ass it can be,

those of us really won’t stop

and more than likely never will

so here’s what I am thinking…

 If you happen to catch yourself mid stream

tossing all those pillows,

grumbling or stacking and wondering

why on earth you even bother with them,

(and you will think about it the next time you face those pillows)

I can promise you at that very moment

there’s a good chance you will giggle or smile

OR…

head downstairs and throw all sales  flyers

of bedding and pillows

into the trash before you go anywhere.

How does that go again?

“lead me not into temptation”

So my advice…

Strike a match and set fire to them suckers

and get your ass back to bed 😉

Make it a great day everybody!

we all deserve a “Me day”…..

calender

Well folks, another birthday in the books and something struck me today.

After all the well wishes from some amazing people in my life, and the pure love I felt, I couldn’t help but think about those who make statements like “I hate my birthday!”

How about a show of hands as to how many of you only see your birthday as

“just another day?”

I am thinking there are a few of you and some even thinking to themselves,

“I wish everybody would just forget!”

Wow!! I couldn’t  even imagine that!!

It would truly break my heart if not one person made a point of reminding me that today is

“MY DAY!!”

The way I see it……

Over the course of the year, we are all so busy doing for others, and stretching ourselves in so many directions.

Why do we  refuse to allow ourselves that  “ME day?”

 How unfair is that?

 It is not bragging or boasting.

It isn’t a matter of conceit or self indulgence.

It’s not like we need a parade in our honor, or an announcement on the evening news (however if that ever did happen to me, boy would that be a fantastic party!!)

If you think hard,

it’s just about being reminded, that on that one specific  day,

YOU MATTER!! 

It isn’t about counting how many years you have been on this planet, or counting down the years that are left.

It really is just about one thing…..

That for one day,

 You are special!!

You obviously made an impact in people’s lives and all they want to do is say,

“Happy Birthday friend”, and wish you an amazing day!

Is it  really that awful of a thing to think or expect?

Why push away the feeling that it is perfectly okay to be the King or Queen for that one simple  day!!

You know what???

We all deserve it!!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with allowing yourself to feel important.

Isn’t this what we try and teach our kids,  so why can’t we apply this to ourselves?

 Whether you just had your big day, or are about to have one,

keep this in mind…….

All the fuss and well wishes are designed for one thing, and one thing only.

To shine love in your heart, and remind you that you deserve it!!

I had an incredible day and each and every reminder made me realize that I am loved!!

It doesn’t get any better than that!!

From the bottom of my heart, Thank you for making my “Me day” one of the very best!!!

Make it a great day everybody!!

God bless~~