something I needed you to know…

We have all lost special people

throughout our lives

and for many of you

there was no opportunity

to say what you needed to say.

I have been trying to think of what my last good-bye to my Dad

would have been if God gave me the chance.

Taken in the blink of an eye,

without warning and completely blindsided,

I along with my family

never got to tell him what we all had in our aching hearts

as we gathered at the hospital,

so Dad here is what I would have said to you

because I think you deserved to hear it.

First and foremost I adored you.

Not just because you were my Dad

but also because of the incredible man you were.

I always trusted your judgement.

I always believed in the kindness of your heart.

We had so many funny moments

but along with that did come some more serious ones,

and in the midst of them all,

you always had a way of making peace with situations

so no one got hurt.

Never did I doubt your pride when it came to your family.

You made that very clear

especially when you were surrounded by your girls.

thanksgiving 2013-all of us

The one thing that was very apparent

was the joy your grandchildren

brought to your life.

It gave you such pleasure

in teaching them and laughing with them

and I think knowing

how much they truly loved you

and best of all how devoted they were

to their Papa and Gramma.

50th mom dad & grand kids

Your kindness to friends and even strangers

especially dealing with struggle or hardship

was relentless.

You never wanted to see anyone

going through hard times

and even going as far as hiring people at your garage

that you really didn’t need

but creating something anyway

to give them a fighting chance.

The one thing that definitely sticks in my mind

is you always cheered for the underdog.

You truly believed in that

and it is something you most certainly passed on to me.

You worked hard every day of your life

to make sure you provided for us

and the great part is although

we never wanted for anything,

you instilled in each of us

to be humble enough to recognize

that it doesn’t hurt to work hard

for the things you want the most.

What I needed to say more than anything

is how much I appreciated

the life you gave Mom and Mama.

There are so many private moments

the three of you shared among yourselves

throughout all these years,

from tears to laughter

and a whole lot in between

and for that Dad,

I could never thank you enough

for being such an amazing husband,

 devoted son-in-law

and incredible human being

to the two most important women

in my life.

dad mom and mama

Simply put Dad,

you always made me smile

and I think this is what I am going to miss the most.

It won’t be easy on those days when I just need my Dad

to lift my spirits

or sit beside me

when I need my sidekick

for those silly one liners

that you were so good at.

It will always feel like the world

isn’t going to ever be the same

without you in it

but as I said to you

as I knelt before you

while you laid so peaceful,

“As I live and breathe Dad,

and until we meet again,

I will do everything in my power

to  keep your spirit alive.

To know me,

is to know you

and because of you,

I think I can do this.”

My proudest moments have always been

when people have said,

“Kimmie, you are your father’s daughter”

so rest assured Dad,

I will make you so proud!

dad and me

I will miss you every day of my life,

I will always look up to you for guidance and strength

but above all and what trumps everything I have said is this…

 I will Love you FOREVER,

ALWAYS,

and then some!

Thank You for being my Dad, my friend,

and best of all…

My Hero!

missing you Dad

Dear Dad, I know you can hear me…

It’s been just over a week

and although his heart stopped beating,

his legacy and life will live on!

Dad with cowboy hat

With every memory

and every story

we still feel your presence Dad.

There isn’t one person

who you have made an impact on that can’t smile

the minute your name is mentioned.

Whether it be a silly moment

(and there are quite a few of those)

or a sentimental one

your true character as a man

made a difference in the lives you did touch.

It’s interesting that before God took you

to fly among angels

how reading words or poems

regarding living life to the fullest

or not to take life for granted

were only words

scribbled on a page

without true meaning

until now.

be grateful

I know you are watching over us,

especially Mom and Mama

and honestly Dad,

I have felt your presence the instant

you left.

I never thought I would have this kind of strength

or composure but somehow

you are with me and sometimes I swear

I can feel your hand on my shoulder

and even the odd time or two

it’s as if you are whispering into my ear.

I know you hear me every time I get into my car

because that is my time to check in with you.

“Good morning Edward”

and I still hear you reply

“Good morning Kimberley”

as we always did before.

I know you hear me asking that you keep a close eye on Mom and Mama,

that you not miss a beat with Debbie, Nat, Corrie and myself,

and above all smile with your grand children

and guide them as only their Papa could ever do.

Naturally we speak of your sisters,

your brother in-laws and your sister-in-law

and your son in-laws as well.

We run through your niece’s, your nephews

and all other relatives

because I know that tender heart of yours

and you wouldn’t want to miss one single person.

 From there on we cover

all those amazing friends

who became a close piece of your heart

through out every stage of your life.

Somehow I envision that you have

a whole bunch of your sticky notes up there

just to make sure there isn’t one person you may miss.

This is going to be a tough Father’s Day without you Dad

but if there is one thing I will be counting on

is you will be among us when we gather.

Mom has brought you home

and the really good thing now is

I am sure your hearing is perfect

so no more struggling to hear what we are saying.

You will hear that we love you

more than life itself,

that we Thank you

more than you will ever know,

how we miss you

every second of the day

but above all…

How very blessed

and proud

we all feel

to have had you in our lives!

Oh and not to worry Dad,

our father’s day golf game is still a go.

Your grand children want to come with me

to share that day

in your honour.

Something tells me

we’re going to need your assistance

BIG TIME!

 Also we are going to plant wild flower seeds

at the 3rd hole

to represent your only hole in one.

Putting an end to this is harder than I thought

so I will finish with a quote

my cousin Jennifer sent us

knowing how meaningful it truly is

and that if Dad could tell us one thing,

this would definitely be it!

family tree

Happy Father’s day Dad

Love you always and forever

I know you can hear me!

XOXO

until we meet again my friends…

I have struggled all day

whether to write this one or not,

thinking it might be too painful to read for some of you

or even offend those of you who may be thinking

“what the hell does she know about how we are feeling or what we are going through?”

My intention is in NO way to make anyone hurt anymore than they already do or have.

I just thought  it would be nice that you know

that by me talking about

the battles you are all facing or have faced,

that the rest of us are feeling your pain

and praying with every fiber of our being for each and every one of you.

So here I go…

 I know of two special people at this very moment,

living the last part of their lives

in the tranquility of a hospice

surrounded in love

among their family and friends.

There are others who come to mind

who have already done this voyage

and I can’t help but think of all of them

at a time like this.

Can’t even imagine what thoughts

can even run through their families and friends minds

in the mix of it all.

All I know is that every last moment spent with them

is being held like a precious time capsule.

Savoring every last word,

or holding on for dear life

to that final but gentle last touch.

hands

Knowing  whatever past experiences good or bad

that ever happened,

 doesn’t  mean a damn thing right about now.

As they slowly fade away,

the agony of them slipping away

is nothing anyone can actually describe.

It is a loss of a soul

whose memories will always

remain alive in our hearts.

No words of comfort really help

at a time like this

but yet we all send words of encouragement and love,

not in the hopes of a miracle

but rather that those

whose hearts are hurting with the loss of someone so dear,

know that they are not really alone.

Those we are loving and losing and so very tired

are just about ready

to find their way to God’s gate.

They know it is time to leave

but it’s in the eyes of those who surround them

that makes that final goodbye a safe and peaceful journey.

In the end,

we say our farewells with heavy hearts,

crushed souls,

and no real reason why it had to be like this

questioning all reasoning as to why God chose them

but once all is said and done,

and the tears continue to flow with no sense of relief

and we struggle with letting go,

the fact will always remain,

that they knew right to the very end

they were so very loved!

To those who are going through this now:

I send my heartfelt love and prayers

with every ounce of strength you may need.

For anyone who has already been through this:

I send you my admiration and respect.

Empowered by the courage it took

to carry yourself through the pain

for those you have already said your goodbye’s to

and continuing to keep

 the spirit of their souls alive!

sky

I was worried as to how I would put an end to this one

which seemed to consume my brain most of the day

and knowing how difficult this even had to be

for some of you to read.

I just wanted those who can relate

to know that we who have stood around you

know the burdens you carry or have carried.

So as gentle and compassionate as I can be

and in the memory of those

we are losing,

and those we have already lost.

God willing we will see you on the other side!

until we meet again my friends…

God Bless you all~