ain’t nobody got time for that…

It seems it is that time of year.

You guessed it!

You are Thick,

and you want Thum Thoup!

( and yes our inner Sylvester appears when our nasal cavity is plugged up and we feel like a pile of Thit! )

sick 2

I really don’t think I have to describe the symptoms,

because who hasn’t felt the ravages of that nasty

cold or flu bug?

All I know is it takes away precious moments

of our lives that we never get back.

It grabs a hold of our happiness

and puts us in a head lock

begging for mercy

like some beaten up wrestler

pleading for the chance to breathe.

It has us slowly slugging along

doing whatever is necessary to just function.

Our warped and delusional minds

have us convinced

we are nearing the end of our life,

(okay, so that was a bit much)

but come on people

everything hurts way more when we are sick.

All we want

is to be in a horizontal position.

Our couch, a comfortable blanket,

our favorite pillow and a box of tissues

is our only salvation.

Growing up,

you knew you were sick

if a glass of flat ginger ale was on the coffee table in front of you.

Suffering in that moment,

the hell with the rest of the world.

We have found our sanctuary.

sick 4

The really sad part is most of us

don’t have the luxury of hiding on the sofa

or thofa for those who are reading this right now.

We have duties to tend to.

No rest for the weary as they say.

So in some lame attempt we soldier on.

Okay, so it’s at a snail’s pace

and not with very much enthusiasm,

but we do it.

Even though it hurts to blink

and our legs feel like they will buckle underneath us,

especially if that one sneeze that is festering

and is gathering speed and about to blow,

we manage to brace ourselves.

( so this maneuver is done in the fetal position)

I never said it would be a pretty bracing.

Work, family and life

just won’t allow us

that simple solution

to rest and heal.

So in most cases our motto is simple really.

sick 1

Bet some of you are thinking

I am going to give you some inspirational words

that will provide some sort of relief

or a miracle cure to rid you of your suffering.

Good Lord!

If I had that special power

I would rule the world.

It’s a part of our lives,

and we all have to face that demon

at some point.

It really is inevitable

because unfortunately most people

don’t follow the rules of washing their hands

as often as the experts recommend,

or sneeze into their bent elbows

to prevent those God awful germs

from piercing into our personal spaces.

sneezing

We pretty much have no choice but to handle it,

and all the grumbling in the world

has no power to change it

(however it sure makes us feel a little better to bitch and complain anyway)

Isn’t it funny that we wait till we feel like a bag of dirt

to make mental notes of what we should have been

better prepared for.

For example:

Keep our medicine cabinets stocked up

with every advertised healing concoction known to man.

(and yes it has to include Buckley’s)

Find any or all good sales on kleenex

(unless it just so happens the bulk toilet paper you buy comes with soothing lotion)

You may want to monitor the condition of that couch of yours

only because you know it will be your resting place for the week

that you are dying that slow death.

Of course our unclear thoughts

will lead us completely into another direction

(which you can blame that fever for if need be)

sick 3

Like I said,

there is nothing I can say

to get any of you through the rough patch

and all I can offer is a little laughter

or maybe a forced smile,

but if none of this has helped,

I suppose it’s always reassuring to know

that someone out there

will swing by to make you

a warm bowl of your favourite

Thoup!

God bless You!

(especially all you sneezers out there)

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4 thoughts on “ain’t nobody got time for that…

  1. Yup…..wash your hands the minute you walk in the door from wherever it is you’ve been. One might also consider getting a flu shot….they really do help ( if you do get a bug, it will be less severe if you’ve had the shot).
    Signed,
    Nancy Nurse

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